Haters Are People Too

Having a thick skin can get you only so far. The next step up is living in the experience. Only then can you learn, grow and help others. So are you ready to love your enemies? No, I mean really love them… Let’s start with the easy ones. People you have no real beef with, we call those haters right? The folks who give you the cold shoulder, talk about you or intentionaly create obsacles even though you have no idea why.

News flash: haters are good for the ego, but that does not apply if you hate back. Hate in and of itself comes from fear and how can fear be good for your ego?

Think about it… There is no valid reason for a person to decide they don’t like you because of your style, personality, physical appearance, the way you talk, or who you slept with last night, etc. As a matter of fact, if people you’ve never harmed decide they don’t like you, it’s actually quite the compliment. Think about it, how many times do you just decide from hearing a person speak, seeing their writings or looking at them that you just don’t like them or are going to set out to stop them (from whatever). The answer is probably rarely or never. Offensive remarks and behavior are sometimes a reason depending on your level of sensitivity, and morality (not ethics) but most of us get passed the initial offense even to the point of concern and/or curiosity.

image

Need help walking in love?


Feelings of hate have to derive from a place of strong energy. Hate just like love is an action; an active emotion that causes behavioral changes. There is a focus and drive to the anger, otherwise it would not last. Often times even the feelings of dislike towards those who have offended you don’t last long, unless you’re one who holds a grudge (check yourself, but that’s a different blog); most times forgetting what the conflict was about.

So it only stands to reason, that when someone has very strong feelings towards you that are negative without provocation, they must come from a place of fear. People who like being in control are threatened when the control is at risk. This is true even if you’re not a hater. Those of us who know this make efforts to maintain faith and positivity so we have no bondage to threats, perceived or real. If you are not afraid of the one threatening you then you are less likely to be angry towards or hate the person.

Why should you care? Because you can’t be an effective leader, change agent, social entrepreneur, motivator, minister, teacher, coach, etc. if you draw the line at insecure people who have so little faith that they fear you. Those are the ones we should be chasing down and targeting… Not just the easy marks.

That’s Living Sugar Free!

Let’s discuss it… http://xeeme.com/AndréaRaquel

Advertisements

You Are Responsible For The Funk You Add In The World

I am shocked everytime I here reports of random killing, suicide, road rage and or bombs at the hand of some kid who was bullied. But on days like today when the planets are aligned just right I sit back and watch…knowing exactly why such tragedies are happening at an alarming rate. Many people maintain positive exteriors because that’s what’s in style. But words hurt, not doing your job screws up someone elses, and do I really need to tell you about messing with someones time or money in this economy?

I don’t usually take early a.m. meetings or run around in traffic…today I remembered why. Folks are crazy early in the morning…especially when they have to work. People please pray, eat breakfast, play music, read, or do whatever you need to do to get your mind right in the a.m. There’s no excuse for being rude to people in your work environment! If you hate your job get a new one, but don’t take it out on the general public; and please stop talking crazy to random strangers. Oh and if you are an officer or other authority figure abusing power, you’re just wrong!!! This is why people are getting killed in traffic, on the street, etc.

You never know who you are talking to or how crazy they are. Maybe you never found out either, because they left you and took the funk you passed them and beat their kids or wife, or robbed someone, blew up a building or committed suicide because you were the last straw. You are responsible for the energy you bring to a situation and to other people. There are two egos in every situation, are you keeping yours in check (I cleaned that phrase up for you)? Don’t add fuel to someone elses fire or be the last straw…for their sake and yours.

Although I am sugar free and will not be fake or phony, I try to maintain civility even with the nastiest individual. Some folks just don’t know any better. But for those of you who do…be prepared to get told just how rude and nasty you are. I have seen it all today from a balif talking crazy to a defendents mother, Coca Cola driver yelling out of his window (not cat calls), to people ready to fight in suits…and that’s a summary. Whew this was one day filled with a bunch of “normal” people who had no idea how crazy they looked. Please don’t let it be you tomorrow. Just take a moment to do inventory and see if you may be guilty of spreading funk in the world.

How You Know You Are The Ego Out of Control:
1. Telling strangers what to do for your own convenience.
2. Being short or insulting to co-workers and clients  because you’re stressed.
3. Defining someone else…calling names, playing dozens or expecting others to be what you want.
4. Treating people at work with less than care and respect when you are not the owner.
5. In anyway badmouthing or misrepresenting the brand that is on your paychecks.

…do I really need to go on? I can speak to your group or give one on one coaching for anyone that feels this is rocket science or works with others who think it is.

Andrea Raquel
Bx=SugarFree