Lead Follow or Get Out of The Way | Living Sugar Free

Yep, I said it, and before you say Amen, I’m probably talking to you too…

Stereotypes about women, lies about history and biology, blatant porn, jokes on nationalities, racial remarks about the POTUS or anyone, oh and passive aggressive folks who get an attitude and say all manner of nastiness when anyone has the audacity to point it out… Or worse you got an attitude and said outloud you don’t see why we need Black History Month. As long as you don’t say the n word you’re good right? Wrong!!!
Somedia is out of control, but who’s leading the way?????

If you really want to make a difference, click the link and keep reading…

Let’s discuss it… http://www.tsu.co/SugarFreeCoach/18167812


S.H.E. Opportunity Killers

Oh you like that title, huh? Yes, I know I’m clever 😉 Spite, Hate and Envy are terrible joy stealers, relationship destroyers, and opportunity killers.

I’m a psychology researcher, coach, mentor and advisor…  unintentional kindling the hate fire is what I do, it is my weirdness. I call it hater aiding 😀 But there’s a fine line. When you say something profound, do something really great or really smart or accomplish something and then you celebrate really big and care about the fact that it makes the people who are jealous more frustrated. That’s pretty much the same thing as “watching them squirm” and shouldn’t really be motivation; but hey I understand that we’re human. I’m not saying what anyone should or shouldn’t do; I’m just offering a perspective that may help with easing some of that frustration.

Have you ever become friends with your neighborhood bully, the boss nobody liked or someone that was hating on you? It’s an interesting test of patience, forgiveness and leadership. How much more to serve them? I do it everyday. The key for me is remembering my why. The Bible says if I do it for them I have my reward, that’s whether I’m getting accolades or hate. I have been delivered from the opinions of people, truly. That is why I can laugh at it, discuss it and yes help others overcome. We throw around “to each his own” but what about live and let live?… even for the hater. I can’t stress the importance of being open to discussion, and not being quick to ignore people who are in your network. Now saying you aren’t going to associate with someone because they did something is not the same as saying you are going to ignore them because of their personality or feelings towards you. I don’t have to be around you, but if I’m going to be around you I can’t ignore you because that would be rude on my part and who’s to say you deserve that.

Anybody know what the Socratic Method is??? If I tell you what I want you to think, I’m being controlling. If I ask you a series of questions to make you reveal to yourself that what you are saying is not logical, than you gained the information on your own. I find it to be quite helpful when dealing with haters, and other folks who are not on the same page. “Haters” we toss that term around a lot, and I’m a jokester so I make light of serious social issues. But ultimately all humans have the capacity for jealousy, envy and spite. Most do it more often when no one is looking. The problem with social media is that often people forget that someone is always looking. So even ignoring someone is an action. Life is 20% what happens to me and 80% how I respond to it. How I respond to the hater is always going to be bigger than how I perceive the hater treated me. So why ignore them and why not just choose your network and online and off more wisely. Therefore you don’t have people in your circles that are blatantly prejudice,  mean, derailing, selfish and sabotaging… these are action words whereas hatred, jealousy, and envy are feeling words and subject to opinion. That is what we all agree haters are, right? Everyone that I might think is hating on me, is not necessarily. Sometimes they just have hang ups. The point is, who am I to be rude, disrespectful or less than myself to the hater. I never know why God may have brought me into their life.

#TXNL is a pretty big online network, even if you only count active fans and subscribers… I only have 400 FB friends and the majority is family, classmates, and coworkers from past jobs. I literally know almost everyone in person or via phone. It allows me to be accessible to my entire network on a schedule and limited to our online spaces. I can share content when I want and support members when I have time. I’m very good at managing my time and resources.

You’d be surprised at some of the online secrets I’ve learned. For example, I use to create Facebook groups from my fan page and then add the friends from my friend wall. That allows me to post as my page and so people notice my page more from the large groups we have. Well before lots of folks could catch on to that trick, Facebook shut it down. I think maybe it was a glitch. They will probably offer it as a paid service to pages. LOL!!!

Anywho. My point is that, y’all don’t have to like me, I love you. If you disrespect me with your actions I will let you know because maybe you are unaware, uneducated, unskilled, uncivilized and etc. That’s what leaders do, and I come from a good stock, breeding and training of great leaders so it’s ingrained in me to teach. The teacher, leader, actress, singer, speaker, comedian, preacher, remember I’m the coaches coach, doesn’t have time to be mad about their haters. But intentionally setting out to be rude? I may have deleted someone from my FB friend list. But if they follow me on Twitter I will follow back and if they tweet me I will say thank you. Doesn’t mean I’m hanging out with them for dinner. But guess what if they ask me, I will have to consider. As long as they don’t mind my sugar free way of letting them know they are being disrespectful. I’m perfectly okay with giving them the benefit of the doubt that they were not hating.

If you choose to ignore good sense, via any social platform I will unfollow and disengage because I don’t endorse foolishness. Oh, I’ve seen it all, the motivational speaker who was nasty and insulting to me, the coach who only wanted to take everyone’s money, the person who was trying to push their agenda, the con artist, etc. If I know you I will not publicly ignore you, heckle you, or try to embarrass you, like I don’t know you just because I think you are a hater, or rude or weird… that could go for any of us based on a judgement call.

Like I said, live and let live… may God use me to bless my haters too.

Talking Over Your Own Head | You Might Be A PorchMonkey

From #LivingSugarFree

If you don’t understand marketing or business in general, let me help you.
Either play along for the sake of discussion, be supportive, ad value, or keep your mouth shut and avoid looking like a fool…
Continue reading

#LivingSugarFree Never Been Big On Popularity Contests

I caught this recent Mashable article about Klout on Twitter “How to Improve Your Klout Score — and Why You Should Bother


News flash:
Being mindful of your influence is not the same as being mindful of a an external score. There are multiple ways to determine quality influence. In the old days we just did surveys… oh wait, there’s an app for that. If all you care about is numbers… and you don’t really care what your audience is gaining from you,  or who is growing, surviving and touching others because of you, I can’t help you.

How do I know the scores and the websites they are based on are flawed? Because I’m a researcher and I pay attention and get to the heart of a matter without being emotional. I watch, I ask and I listen… imagine that as a concept.

Now I get on my Social Entrepreneur soapbox…
To focus on comparison ratings is to worry about someone elses success. Yes it’s nice to be the top ranked blahbedyblah. Been there done that, got the t-shirt.

Ultimately you are your only competition. If you capture your market, generate prophets and/or change lives (based on your goals)… who cares what the next person is doing with their influence? We all have it. It’s a matter of what you do with it.

Now I put on my Sugar Free Coaching hat…
In every industry and for every generation, there are private companies that rate other companies. Just like some businesses suck, some ratings companies that score businesses also suck.

The BBB, which used to be a commercial staple in the US,  comes to mind. I was utterly disgusted when I found out you could buy your score. I’ve seen similar practices with some somedia companies and I’m over it.

Bottom line is, I don’t need a company that doesn’t understand me or my audience, to tell me I’m good. I can ask my family, friends, leaders, fans and clients directly. Why? Because they are all brilliant. Like minds think alike and attract other like minds and so on. Further more, giving good service and quality value add is personal to the consumer. Quality relationships are not to be measured by a computer without first at least asking the consumers vs. only people who use said rating company.

Everytime, I think I’m finished with this, an additional point surfaces…

Yes netiquette is important, as in “on ground” (vs. real life which some folks mistake for the opposite of online). You have to respect others (or don’t and experience the repurcussions). But outside of that, I can’t tell you how to be you. Your somedia activity is not going to look like mine, nor should it.

Sooo… I’m sorry social media friends. I call B.S.!!

You might want to dig a little deeper into your brand, if you plan to stick around for the long haul. If your whole vision is about rating the traffic on these very flawed mediums… you need to find another value add. Marketing is a very miniscule part of the formula to successful business and Social Media is an even smaller part of Marketing… this is still true for the somedia business.

Let’s discuss it… http://xeeme.com/AndréaRaquel

#LivingSugarFree online vs ground time

Offline poster from my nephews folder.

We like these in ground time too. How we live offline is how we live online… to a certain extent. This is an offline graphic from my nephews folder.

Pondering the humor in that folks think everything is a #SocialMedia trend. Humans do the same things #online that they do in #groundtime.

When you do something in ground time and no one knows; you magnify by posting online.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one heard it, don’t post it on Facebook if you don’t want it magnified and exploited.

Furthermore Facebook does not have a 911 feature. When posting, chances that you will reach a paramedic, fireman, police officer or life coach are slim to none. If you’re posting to Facebook instead of dialing 911, the ER or your therapist, you are in the wrong dimension.

Contributors: Denise, Madison, James, Ezra and Thomas Pooser.

Let’s discuss it… http://xeeme.com/AndréaRaquel

Today Is a Good Day

Today  Is A Good Day

What will you do different today?

Today is a good day to set the tone for the rest of your week, your month and your year.

Start the week off right by doing a little audit (don’t be obsessive or dismissive any little bit makes a difference):

  1. Clean off your desk (organize things that require follow up).
  2. Shred the junk (clean out snail mail, email and notification boxes).
  3. Check your social media connections and links on your website.
  4. Respond to messages and post (flag messages that require follow up).
  5. Say thanks to top engagers, partners, employees, new clients, etc.

Many people don’t like Monday’s because of the workload and drudgery ahead for the week; and/or because everyone’s in a bad mood because they didn’t end last week on a good note and they are faced with last weeks problems.

If you check in on a good note on Monday… then end Friday with your next week’s to-do list, everything in between will be more manageable. This is not to say that you won’t get thrown any curve balls… when you plan your work and work your plan, you are more mentally equipped to deal with the unexpected, both good and bad.

*Notice the activities listed are to be done in spite of your method of communication, to include (office space, cloud space, and mobile space) paper, emails, websites, phone, online networks, and etc. No excuses!

You Can’t Be Me | I Don’t Do Court, I Tweet

#LivingSugarFree #BrandManagement  #Reputation


The reason I’m good at what I do, is that I do what I’m good at. That’s called staying in your lane and owning it.

You can be you, and the best at it. But you can not be me. When you try to be like other people, for the sake of popularity and/or selling, that’s when you skrew up.

Words, patents, and copyrights are tough. Basically a way to get money by the government and products to push by corporations. If consumers didn’t fall for hype, branding wouldn’t be so important. The corner small business is a wonderful concept and works perfectly well in any scale and size… But because of the bad business person who takes short cuts and/or  knows how to trick consumers, quality brands need to be protected.

Until you are financially in a position to play this game, because it is a costly and time consuming one, take these steps:
1. Always make copys (songs, books, articles, scripts, jokes, blogs, classes, proposals, etc.) and certify mail them to self. Do not open. Also archive them on the cloud with date stamps.
2. Research domains and Google new ideas. Rarely ever was it never thought of before.
3. Use your brands hashtags to own your online social media space.
4. Own your profile names and email addresses everywhere.

There’s nothing you can ask me about branding that I can’t relate to. I’ve been on many sides of the ‘unfair’ spectrum. I’ve been harassed for using common words that are widely known when someone decided to copyright them. And I’ve had my registered brand hijacked by folks who claim to be “sugar free” in the definition, which has been mine for over seven years (not the phrase, that’s been around forever). How do I know? I did the research before I started. Patents and copyrights are all about uniqueness.

I can tell you from proven experience how to create a clean brand, protect it, and be respectful of others. If you are looking to get over, get rich quick or take advantage of a brand or your customers, I can’t help you… as a matter of fact just kill yourself now and save us all the headache.

If you have a vision and want to do it the right way, regardless of challenges and hard knocks hoping to one day share your experiences with others, you’ve come to the right place.

For starters, do some research when you ‘find yourself’. This is a cliché thrown around in social environments. But if you don’t know who you are, how can you brand yourself? If you are two steps from a nervous breakdown should you be coaching? If you hate kids should you be teaching? If you don’t get sales, service, hr or any other business basic, should you be selling business success products? If you can’t give up doughnuts, should you be selling fitness? All of these questions are yours to ask yourself. If the answer is yes, own it. If the answer is no stop living in someone elses lane.

I can’t tell you how many ‘gurus’, and experts are making a killing and I wonder how they function in public without a straight jacket. If you have to secretly call someone to live your brand and can’t publicly acknowledge that expert as part of your brand, you are stealing their lane and you won’t succeed. “Fake it until you make it,” doesn’t mean to fake the entire brand.

Once you understand who you are, embrace it. You can’t sell what you don’t buy. Sooo, if you don’t love who you are, how ya gonna sell it? Also you will be looking for key phrases and catch phrases to describe what you don’t like. How are you going to do that? You will be cleaning the words up and trying to make it look good but it won’t be believable. If you’re weird, own it. Know that it’s only the opinions of others that have you doubting your unique greatness.

So when I receive the dreaded message from a friend saying “is this you?” I already know what is coming and how I will handle it. First of all, if it was me, you wouldn’t have to ask. Second, I’m so in my lane, you can’t Google sugar free without seeing me.

Make no mistake, you can not succeed riding off the unique greatness of someone else. You will always pale as a cheap imitation because you are being an intentional  fake, duplicate, nock-off, etc.

Let’s discuss it… http://xeeme.com/AndréaRaquel