Having a thick skin can get you only so far. The next step up is living in the experience. Only then can you learn, grow and help others. So are you ready to love your enemies? No, I mean really love them… Let’s start with the easy ones. People you have no real beef with, we call those haters right? The folks who give you the cold shoulder, talk about you or intentionaly create obsacles even though you have no idea why.
News flash: haters are good for the ego, but that does not apply if you hate back. Hate in and of itself comes from fear and how can fear be good for your ego?
Think about it… There is no valid reason for a person to decide they don’t like you because of your style, personality, physical appearance, the way you talk, or who you slept with last night, etc. As a matter of fact, if people you’ve never harmed decide they don’t like you, it’s actually quite the compliment. Think about it, how many times do you just decide from hearing a person speak, seeing their writings or looking at them that you just don’t like them or are going to set out to stop them (from whatever). The answer is probably rarely or never. Offensive remarks and behavior are sometimes a reason depending on your level of sensitivity, and morality (not ethics) but most of us get passed the initial offense even to the point of concern and/or curiosity.
Feelings of hate have to derive from a place of strong energy. Hate just like love is an action; an active emotion that causes behavioral changes. There is a focus and drive to the anger, otherwise it would not last. Often times even the feelings of dislike towards those who have offended you don’t last long, unless you’re one who holds a grudge (check yourself, but that’s a different blog); most times forgetting what the conflict was about.
So it only stands to reason, that when someone has very strong feelings towards you that are negative without provocation, they must come from a place of fear. People who like being in control are threatened when the control is at risk. This is true even if you’re not a hater. Those of us who know this make efforts to maintain faith and positivity so we have no bondage to threats, perceived or real. If you are not afraid of the one threatening you then you are less likely to be angry towards or hate the person.
Why should you care? Because you can’t be an effective leader, change agent, social entrepreneur, motivator, minister, teacher, coach, etc. if you draw the line at insecure people who have so little faith that they fear you. Those are the ones we should be chasing down and targeting… Not just the easy marks.
That’s Living Sugar Free!
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